so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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