before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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