so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
