Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it because I queefed?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Randomize
