I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my liver is dry heaving
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
