don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize