God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
