This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize