Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
