I CAN MOONWALK!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
