he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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