did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
