hell yes lets make some ravioli
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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