there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize