Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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