I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
