if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
