she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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