I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
