it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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