Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
