But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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