I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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