Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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