just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
