Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize