is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
