but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
