If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
