This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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