She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
