we made out on top of his cat.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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