i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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