wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
