i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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