She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
