glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Still dying that you shit outside
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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