i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize