I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
