Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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