Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
