So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
