dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
