Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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