We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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