I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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