I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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