I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
