party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
