i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
