Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you never un-have a 4some
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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