So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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