Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize