you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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