you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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