stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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