Grow some girl-balls and come out already
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize