can u get pink eye on your cock?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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