currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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