operation harelip BJ is a go
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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