Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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