Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
