Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
