this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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