If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
