how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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